The next excitement was of course seeing Western brands; even a McDonalds and a Krispy Kreme doughnut stand brought tears of joy to our eyes while the public transport system was beautiful compared to a Dhaka rickshaw. The only off putting factor on Thai public transport is that a number of passengers insist on wearing those air filter mask things which set you slightly at ease as you suspiciously sniff the air...
I do realise I am making Dhaka sound hellish but it is a very isolating place where instant coffee is the best caffeine kick you are going to find. To a very weary bunch of us our first taste of Thai food was in the form of the Aloha Cafe (as authentic as it comes) where we had dumplings, noodles, and thai soup with lots of extra nose running chilli flakes. Stomachs satisfied our first walk along Thai streets did not disappoint, firstly we walked down the main tourist street which is honestly gap year heaven! Every item of clothing that is stereotypically gap yah is on display including patches for your rucksack, elephant trousers, hippy bags, and even a 'travellers passport'. Well when you can't beat em join em so we bought our elephant trousers and headed straight to the air conditioned Starbucks to exchange stories about cultural awareness. It was on a side street near here that we encountered without a doubt the best thing we have ever seen:
Yes that's right a sleeping snorlax with a very unfortunate rip in his trousers. Welcome to Thailand. A tup tup (Thailand's motorised version of the rickshaw) was in order to take us back to the luxury of our hotel where Thailand's next treat our ladyboy hostel receptionist greeted us. Very funny as we all stumbled through whether 'he' or 'she' is the correct term to address the inappropriately named 'Nice' with, she also of course inserted the typical ladyboy joke when she told the boys they could shower in her room LOL.
The boys' main objective on this trip was funnily enough not to shower in her room but to visit the Thailand that only comes out at night and thanks to the very liberal sexual views in Thailand, high frequency of travellers, and abundance of sleazy men is very much alive. As we stumbled through the red light district of Bangkok the offers were pretty overwhelming. I do not need to spell out exactly what was offered but believe me you can literally see ANYTHING in this city, be it a ping pong show, go-go show, or anything else that takes your fancy! The offers were frankly too much so at the boys insistence we were persuaded to go to one bar where women dance in bikinis on pedestals. From a girl's perspective this was anything but hot as slightly out of shape women shuffled from foot to foot before crowding round big fat Western men. Making a sweeping statement here but Thai girls really need to sort out their definition of good looking as every single one I saw is shooting way below their level.
To get our revenge we decided to head to the gay district nearby where boys dressed in an even smaller version of the speedo dance round poles. Keith getting slightly cocky after seeing all the males eyeing him up proceeded to announce he was like the 'Thai Brad Pitt' while Alex was too horrified by his glimpses inside bars to move any further. Keith's Brad Pitt status did gain him an offer of $50 from a gay guy walking down the street proving money in Thailand can buy you anything and at a cheap price too! In an effort to be more manly the boys then had to eat some very disgusting fried insects from a street stand.
It also turned out that travelling with 4 different types of passports does create difficulties, as Chinese Shutong went to get a visa from the Bangladesh embassy to return to Dhaka and was promptly told she could not get one in Bangkok and her only option was to return to China. Meaning our Chinese fifth was being deported basically, a very funny but upsetting scenario especially Shutong shouting out in a bar slightly drunk 'I'M BEING DEPORTED'. To drown her sorrows a visit to a Thai club was in order where we could order actual alcohol and not Dhaka's juice alternatives. As far as people watching goes Bangkok is amazing; the main tourist drinking spots are filled with gap year students, middle aged hippies, and Thai girls with old men. While the non-touristy clubs sport Thai hipsters and lady boys who require a second glance to be sure. It gets so confusing that we declared one the best looking lady boy we had seen in Bangkok before realising: 'That's not a lady boy, that's just a lady'...
By day aside from buying ridiculous amounts of souvenirs, the street food is without a doubt the best bit. You can buy coconuts, fresh fruit, sushi, fried fish, baked bananas, fried noodles, noodles with soup, pancakes - all cooked by little stalls and incredibly tasty. Best of all is the fried morning glory that is a menu staple and when you get over the snickering actually quite tasty. Being a Buddhist country Bangkok is also full of beautiful temples with huge golden statues of Buddhists, apparently though asking to have my photo taken in front of one while bowing is inappropriate (oh and asking the Chinese Shutong to take her photo in front of China Town is racist). For Shutong and I though getting to a shopping mall was one of the more enticing prospects of Bangkok and after living in Dhaka was a beautiful glowing beacon containing shops from everywhere in the world; with Korean stationary, Japanese clothes, American food, and yes a TOPSHOP ( I was dragged away though without a glance). I am told that having a dream to visit every Topshop in the world is pretty unambitious and sad...
The next part of our escape from Dhaka holiday was visiting the beach, oh the hard life being an intern is. Getting there was slightly stressful as it involved our coach breaking down (the hand gestures the woman used to describe this were priceless though) but mainly because we sat in front of the most annoying American boy who had just found a very dumb American girlfriend to impress. He spent ages wowing her with his pretentious stories and depictions of all the really out there tattoos he was planning on getting, at one point even explaining earthquakes as 'these like really deep seismic movements that like shake the earth' completed with an almost surfer accent. Sadly the island we were headed to was pretty small and we bumped into the aptly named 'gay yah guy' once too many. At least the boat to the island was very Mamma Mia-esque and old school and once there we got to travel in a jeep type thing with the world's worst suspension so we felt suitably tropical island chic by the time we got to our resort. We approached it with somewhat apprehension as the boys had booked it, so quite frankly we could have been staying anywhere. Luckily the boys are more materialistic than us and had chosen a four star luxury resort complete with a spa, swimming pool, and buffet breakfast that was more than adequate (albeit lacking baked beans).
The bubble of luxury did burst ever so slightly when we realised we were staying in a gay resort for hoards of Asian male couples made even more amusing by the very active gay club that the resort was beside. Being the Thai Brad Pitt made Keith slightly nervous so we moved further along the beach to drink rum coconut cocktails and party with the other travellers on the island. Drink here is served in buckets with straws that are sadly more lethal than they initially appear so dancing on tables was definitely in order.
Luckily to recover the next day staying in a beach resort does have the added bonus of enabling me to have a Thai massage to recover followed by a boat trip to watch the sun set. Shutong decided to meditate on the beach to ensure the desert island feel was complete, the photo we took will apparently make her Mum cry!
Returning to Bangkok however was inevitable in order to ship Shutong back to China so she could then hopefully get back into Bangladesh. For my last day I decided to do what could only be done in Bangkok - WATCH HARRY POTTER. Almost a month after the rest of the world I finally got to see the last instalment with a green tea Japanese latte and the offer of Wasabi popcorn (shunned in favour of a classic mix of sweet and salted). I must admit it wasn't quite the same as watching back home as firstly we all had to stand and sing the national anthem and secondly it was sort of fuzzy. And when I say sort of fuzzy I am a hundred percent sure I paid to watch a pirate copy, which came complete with scribbles jumping up on the screen every now and then. Slightly disappointing but at least I got to watch the magic, the stealing of the Braveheart line 'You and what army' from Neville was a random addition mind....
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